The American Pilgrims weren’t the first to give thanks with a meal: “The meat of their fellowship offering of thanksgiving must be eaten on the day it is offered; they must leave none of it till morning” (Leviticus 7:15, NIV 1984). Due to the lack of refrigeration, the “fellowship offering of thanksgiving” had to be offered and eaten on the same day. Today we enjoy leftovers for several days after!
The Israelites did not restrict their expressions of thanksgiving to one day. “Thank offerings” could be offered at any time as a type of “fellowship offering” (Leviticus 3; 7:11-34), one of the five categories of Old Testament sacrifices (the others were burnt offerings, grain offerings, sin offerings, and guilt offerings). A fellowship offering was a voluntary offering. When offered for the purpose of thanksgiving, it included not only an animal sacrifice but various breads to be consumed as a meal.
Voluntary is the key word. We are free at any time to thank God for His goodness and wonderful works: “Let us continually offer the sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of our lips, giving thanks to His name” (Hebrews 13:15).
Amazingly, a man’s hunger for respect is more right-on than I ever realized. At work, my husband receives kudos for a job well done. His paycheck and bonuses verify his skill and dedication. John also works hard to provide for and protect his family.
Respecting John is admiring his work, hischaracter and his care. It’s telling him I appreciate these things and admire him for the man he is. It’s not talking bad about him to my friends or even behind closed doors. It’s “talking him up” at home and in front of others and not second-guessing his ideas. It’s honoring his opinions and decisions (which is tough, especially when my opinion differs!).
Basically, it’s my job as a wife to go against society and their “liberated thinking” and figure out how to respect my husband unconditionally and honor him.
But what does respect have to do with lifetime commitment? Everything. After all, why would a woman want to stick with a man she can’t respect? And why would a man want to stay around when he is treated as the one messing up all the time? (Marriage is more than this, of course. We made acovenant before God, and God has called us to commit for life. But just think how we can transform ourmarriages and our generation when we strive to follow this principle.)
Of course, God always knew what we’re just starting to understand. Check out Ephesians 5:33: “Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband” (NIV).
Yet unconditional respect, it seems, is something that generations of women have forgotten how to do.
It’s not that we wives purposefully set out to sabotage our marriages, but this is what lack of respect does. We tell our husbands we want them to be spiritual leaders and the head of the house, but then we make all the decisions or question the decisions they do make. (Ouch! I’ve done this too many times to count.)
If we’re going to strive for “forever,” we need to think of the ways we can make this thing last. This is part of the work and the planning. A good question to ask is: How can I show my husband the respect he desires?
In an effort to show my respect, I try to remind John I believe in his capabilities, take time to understand his point of view and affirm his accomplishments. John appreciates it when I stop what I’m doing to give him a pat on the back when he’s manicured the front lawn, cleaned the garage or built a set of bookshelves. When I first started doing it, I felt like a mom talking to a 3-year-old: “Great job, honey.” But from his smile, I quickly learned he was energized by my praise.
The amazing thing is that when you do look for ways to show respect and you do work at it, your needs are met too. Because your husband is getting what he needs, he pours out his love in return.
Emerson Eggerichs, in his book Love and Respect, calls this the Energizing Cycle: “Her love motivates his respect. His respect motivates her love.” I can confess: Being in this cycle is indeed energizing … and fun!
So why is respect still a foreign word even to those of us who know its power? This is a hard one, since many times we weren’t raised seeing it lived. To put it in a more culture-friendly term, another word forrespect is admiration. And this is how Dictionary.com defines them both:
Respect: -noun. Esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person, a personal quality or ability, or something considered as a manifestation of a personal quality or ability.
Admiration: -noun. A feeling of wonder, pleasure or approval.
What would a man give for a wife who respects and admires him? I’ve seen this lived out … his whole heart.
Tricia Goyerhas written more than 35 books, including both novels that delight and entertain readers and nonfiction titles that offer encouragement and hope. She has also published more than 500 articles in national publications such as Guideposts, Thriving Family, Proverbs 31, and HomeLife Magazine.
During her childhood, Dara saw enough pain and abuse to last a lifetime. In response, she built a protective wall around her heart. But “The Wall” kept out the love and acceptance she so desperately needed. When Dara turned to God and began to read his Word, her wall began to crumble as God’s unfailing love tumbled in.
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Watching my mother be abused emotionally by my father to a point which eventually brought her to a near-death suicide attempt, led me to internalize my feelings. I put them behind “The Wall” I had built around my heart. My father was and still is, the angriest, most controlling and domineering individual I’ve ever known. I literally felt my mother’s pain, yet I attempted to shut myself off from it by physically plugging my ears and running from any and all confrontation.
I became a person who always wanted to please others; to be the best at everything I attempted. I simply refused to pursue anything unless I was reasonably certain I could obtain perfection. So as you might surmise, my endeavors became very limited. To receive love and acceptance, I felt I had to be “doing something” to obtain it.
Internalizing My Pain
During my childhood I was sexually abused by the son of a family friend. My father excused it away saying, “Boys will be boys.” This caused me to further internalize my pain. I came to the realization that voicing it did not bring resolution, nor did it bring love and approval. Because of “The Wall,” I waited years to share the abuse and my subsequent pain with anyone.
I have known God since I was a child through the faithful example of my mother. I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior at age 12 and have since had a strong personal relationship with Him. Yet I resisted letting even Him into the depths of my heart. “The Wall” I had built by that time was thickly layered and nearly impossible to penetrate.
I had a fear of letting my feelings be seen, so although I never stopped talking to the Lord every day, I continued to keep Him and everyone else on the outside of “The Wall.” I know within my heart that the Lord was watching and waiting for me to turn to Him and lay everything at His feet. Yet, even still I could not break through “The Wall” I had erected around my heart.
Finally, almost 4 years ago, after losing two strong spiritual examples, my mother and my mother-in-law, who both passed away at relatively young ages, and after moving 600 miles from anyone I knew, and after having repeated thoughts of suicide, I turned to God, somewhat as a last alternative.
Reading the Word of God
I began to read the Word of God daily and allow the Lord to speak to me through it. I could not believe how relevant it was to what I was going through in my life. I began to devour the Word, as Matthew 4:4 says, “…It is written: ‘Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’” (NIV)
I began to keep a journal and that allowed “The Wall” around my heart to begin to crumble. The Lord was faithful everyday to speak to me and to reassure me of his unfailing love and affirmation. He released His purpose in my life and I began without reservation to live to please him, and not everyone else.
The Lord became the “Counselor” I so desperately needed and, believe it or not, I was anxious to go to therapy! He became my comforter, my refuge and my source of strength in every circumstance. I came to the revelation that I didn’t have to “do things” to obtain his unconditional love and acceptance.
Now I turn to the Lord, most of the time, without hesitation. I open his Word daily and he is faithful to speak to me no matter the time or situation. I prayerfully seek his guidance in all my decisions. My life is definitely not a bed of roses, but I am able to handle all adversity by praying, reading God’s Word and journaling. I no longer allow my feelings to be put behind “The Wall.”
Just as the wall around Jericho came tumbling down, so did “The Wall” around my heart. I now exist to fulfill this verse of Scripture:
2 Corinthians 1: 3-4 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.(NIV)
Your husband‘s addiction to pornography has just been discovered. The aftermath of this betrayal leaves every precious memory grimy and tainted. You muse back on your wedding night. Was he thinking of someporn star as he touched you? When you were working to conceive a baby together by night, what had he been conceiving with his computer monitor by day?
Your dreams are shattered. You despise him for how his sexual addiction makes you see him, and you’re panicked by how it makes you see yourself.
You’re tempted to think, I knew he never had eyes only for me, but I never dreamed it could go this far. I feel so ugly now. And when he isn’t quick to repent, who can blame you when you icily sneer, “Just get lost with that cuddly computer of yours and have fun.”
Head spinning, heart breaking, you cry in desperate prayer: “Can I ever trust my husband again? My whole marriage is a mirage! Where are You, Lord?”
God is right beside you. Sure, it may appear that He has taken His hand off of your marriage, but your husband’s sin has been in God’s sights for some time—a sin that has been washing out your spiritual protection and threatening to flood your children’s lives with generational sin—in spite of how well your husband’s been hiding the evidence. But now God’s blown your husband’s cover, a sure sign of God’s active role in your marriage.
God wants you to take an active role, too, and the first step in rebuilding trust with your husband is to trust God enough to find His heart for your husband in this mess. God wants restoration.
God’s Heart for Men Who Struggle
Recently, my husband, Fred, and I knelt in intercession as he prepared to challenge a large group of pastors to deeper sexual purity. Without warning, Fred suddenly broke into deep sobs. Moments later, he walked out and spoke with a grace and power I had never seen in him before.
Later, he recounted, “I wasn’t sure I had the right attitude, so I prayed, ‘Lord, I want Your heart as I speak to these men today. As many as half of these guys have been checking out the porn, and You know how that frustrates me to no end. But Lord, I don’t want to speak out of my feelings. Can You let me feel Your feelings toward them today?’
“Instantly, the Lord laid His emotions inside my chest. I burst into tears and felt as though my heart would explode. Then, about three minutes later, it stopped as quickly as it began. Quietly, the Lord whispered, ‘There. Now you know how I ache for My cherished pastors, in spite of their sin. Speak to them from that aching place in My heart.’”
God wants you to minister to your husband in that same grace and power, and He can give you His heart for your husband as easily as He gave Fred His heart for the pastors. God wants His heart reigning inside of you, enabling you to see beyond your husband’s sin and into the brokenness behind it all.
I speak from personal experience. Even when Fred’s temper and sexual sin were ripping up our home, I could see value in him beyond his sin. He had put me first in so many ways in our relationship, and it made me willing to want to go an extra mile for him.
I could also see the dysfunctional pain and confusion still trailing him from his broken childhood home. I saw that he had never had one completely faithful person in his entire life. I decided to become that first person.
There was another reason I chose restoration over divorce. God loves restoration for the same reason He hates divorce: the children. He knows how hard it is to raise godly children in the wake of divorce, and He knows that the message of salvation passes down to them most easily when the parents are one.
Speaking of husbands and wives through His prophet Malachi, God says: “Has not the Lord made them one? In flesh and spirit they’re His. And why one? Because He was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth. ‘I hate divorce,’ says the Lord God” (Mal. 2:15-16, NIV).
In light of all this, I knew I had no right to think of myself first in our marital troubles. I had to think of the kids before I thought of myself and, so, I had to see Fred and the marriage before myself, too. The same is true for you.
Granted, your marriage may now be in shambles, and what lies ahead might even be worse. But God’s call on your life still remains—to build a marriage that pictures Christ‘s relationship to the church.
Obviously, some men will never soften. When is the damage from his sexual sin irreparable? Is divorce ever an option?
Sure it is. Adultery always makes divorce an option, and if your husband will not repent and refuses to turn from an ongoing, regular porn habit, he is an adulterer.
But if you want a magical line between “reparable damage” and “irreparable damage” to trigger divorce proceedings for you, forget it. There is no line of irreparable damage in the distance somewhere; it lurks right at your door from the moment he refuses to repent. There is nowhere to hide.
Staying married surely isn’t safe. His sexual sin poses huge spiritual danger to the whole family, and compromises his spiritual protection over you. I was chased regularly in nightmares by Satan until Fred turned from his sexual sin. I haven’t had such a nightmare since.
There is also the generational sin we spoke of, as well as the ongoing danger that your sons and daughters will stumble upon his magazines, tapes and websites—the most common way young men fall into sexual bondage. Worst of all, your husband will not be the example your son needs to teach him that his Christian walk includes sexual purity. Cascading stages of irreparable damage begin to flow from the moment your husband refuses repentance.
Then why not divorce? Because divorce brings destructive cascades of its own. Statistics show that young men often turn to pornography in the wake of divorce to salve their emotional pain and to begin to explore their masculinity.
Furthermore, sexual addiction counselors find that divorce is no effective answer. Patrick Middleton, one such counselor in the Phoenix area, told me that he has seen very little evidence that divorce leads to consistently healthy results in families shattered by porn.
So whether you stay or go, his sexual sin will wreak its havoc and there are no easy options. But if you do choose to stay, it is time to take an active role in the battle, doing all you can to release the law of reaping and sowing into your husband’s life.
Perhaps your husband has paid little price for his sin in the past. Those days must end, so that he might come to his senses in the midst of the mess he has made.
A Helpmate Is an Active Role
As wives, God has given us two roles to play in marriage. One role relates to submission, and the other involves our responsibility to be our husband’s helpmate. The trouble is that we too often play the wrong role in the face of sexual sin, submitting quietly in the messy tide of events, alternating between wringing our hands in worry and folding our hands to pray while we wait for our husbands to turn.
This is time to play the other role. You were created to help your husband from the beginning: “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him” (Gen. 2:18).
The word helper comes from a Hebrew word in Genesis, which means “a help as his counterpart.” So what does a helper do? Fred likes to explain it this way: As a helper, a wife’s role is to help lift her husband—boost him, prod him, encourage him—to Christian greatness, or maturity in Christ.
What is the most effective way to help your husband? First, take steps toward your own healing. Then, confront your husband, telling him what a Christian wife expects of a mature, Christian husband in marriage and holding him accountable to become that very man. Then put these four key actions in motion:
1. Learn about the differences. When a sexually addicted husband is unrepentant, a wife begins to heal by learning the sexual differences between men and women. The real root of his sexual sin lies elsewhere. Once you understand that his problem is not about you, your beauty or sexiness, you can quickly recover your sense of worth and focus on restoration.
2. Develop spiritual disciplines. Prayer and Bible reading will allow the Lord to speak to your heart and keep a steady walk with Him. If you are to heal, you need a stronger prayer life than ever before.
You also need to develop a few close female relationships for support, insights and sharing your pain. Avoid male relationships like the plague…hold yourself emotionally separate from any other men and avoid discussing your dreams and desires with other men. Secular TV, movies and books can feed the discontent that you have in your life, so avoid them.
Also, do not overcommit your time. You have already been called to an important ministry in God—restoring your husband and marriage. Give it the time and energy that any great call deserves.
You do not need to add other ministries or time stresses to your life. Keep things pared down enough so that no matter what you are doing (raising kids, working at an outside job, volunteering) you still have the time and focus for the restoration process at home.
3. Reject hypervigilance. Perhaps a fear-motivated question is plaguing you: But what if he does it again? Reject fear. You naturally desire the safety that control can bring, but a hyper-vigilant focus upon his every move cannot deliver the safety you crave.
What you really need if you are to feel safe is a sense of your own self, your value in God, and the development of your own skills to communicate your pain and to set and enforce boundaries. Settle for nothing less than God’s picture of marriage.
“Praise be to the LORD, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens.” I like that translation of Psalm 68:19 in the New International Version (NIV), which varies remarkably from the King James Version (KJV). The KJV (or Authorized Version of 1611) translates part of the verse as referring to God “who daily loadeth us with benefits.”
My research, coupled with my nearly forgotten Hebrew, assures me that the literal translation refers to God as the one who “loads up for us.” The idea is that of donkeys or other beasts of burden loaded with provisions. As I read the NIV, I think of God as our Burden-Bearer.
That immediately brings to mind the matter of sin. Almost anyone in the Church can talk about Jesus bearing our sins on the cross. It’s certainly that – but I think it’s more.
I think of Jesus’ words in Matthew 11:28-30: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy [i.e., easy fitting], and my burden is light.”
Jesus spoke to people who desperately wanted to find God, perhaps who wanted to be good, even perfect.
I’ve translated Jesus’ first words above as, “Come to me whoever is exhausted.” The plea is for those of us who have tried hard and long to be the good people of God. He recognizes that we’re carrying a heavy load as we try to climb upward. If we’re not careful, we get entangled with rules and commandments that get mixed up with a kind of cultural Christianity that burdens us and keeps us low.
In Jesus’ days, the Jews used the yoke as a symbol of submission. This verse tells us that if we take Jesus Christ’s yoke, it fits us well; it doesn’t become a heavy-duty, law-upon-law obligation. It’s a way of saying he’ll help us carry our burdens.
I like that thought. When the people read Psalm 68, they must have thought of their donkeys that carried heavy loads for them. And if they did, what kind of picture did that give them of God, the All-Powerful One?
As I read the psalm centuries later, it gives me hope. It helps me understand how God relates to us.
For instance, I think about Sam, a long-time friend that I care about deeply. More than nine years ago, his son left home after a violent argument. For nine years, Sam had no contact with his son. Whenever I asked, Sam would shake his head and say, “I don’t know where he is or what he’s doing.” The pain showed on his face.
In April 1996, the son called. “Daddy, can I come and see you?” He was calling from a phone booth two minutes away. It was a tearful reunion, and the breach began to mend. Father’s Day was one of the happiest days of Sam’s life because his son came to spend the day, along with the rest of the family.
“Nobody will ever know the burden of what I went through for nine years,” Sam said. “I cried and cried until no more tears came.”
As I listened, I teared up as well. Then Sam said, “If it hadn’t been for God, I don’t know how I could have held up.”
In that instant, I got it: God, the Burden-Bearer. God didn’t take away the problem-at least not for nine years. No outward change, no thundering voice in the storm that promised answers. Sam had nothing to go on except the assurance that God cared.
In such situations, we realize we’re following the Burden-Bearer of our lives. Today, I sat for a long time meditating on that concept. It gave me comfort to know that God not only understands our pains and hurts, but God intervenes.
Because God has done that, I’m learning not to carry around a lot of worry: that I’ve failed to live up to my potential; that my pastor (or insert a favorite name here) doesn’t understand me; or, that I messed up a month ago by (fill in your own ending).
God doesn’t always make things right, not even in nine years-at least not the way we want them to be. Some things in life never have a happy resolution. That’s all the more reason we need our Burden-Bearer, who makes life’s loads tolerable.
For instance, I once had a friend named Ben-a really close friend-and we had a serious rift between us. It doesn’t matter who was right and who was wrong; it was simply that our viewpoints were totally different. He couldn’t cross over into my way of thinking, and I couldn’t go over to his.
For several days, I prayed for a reconciliation It didn’t come about. That was four years ago. It may never happen. I wrote to Ben, asking him to forgive me. He never replied. Despite the sadness of a broken relationship, God has taken the burden off my back. I have no mind-reading talents, so I don’t know how he feels; I know only that he has not replied. But I’ve been able to let it g God has been my Burden-Bearer.
Today, I recalled an artist’s illustration I’d seen in a long-ago edition of John Bunyon’s classic allegory, Pilgrim’s Progress. The hero, Christian, is heading toward the Celestial City, but he has a heavy burden strapped to his back. Evangelist talks to him, but the burden remains. Finally, as he nears the cross, the burden falls from his back and rolls away. It’s Christian’s conversion experience, but I see it as an ongoing picture for me and many others.
Unfortunately, most of us get rid of the burdens and then take on new ones. Sometimes we stuff them inside, and deny even to ourselves that they exist.
The kind of burden doesn’t matter. He is the Burden-Bearer, who’s waiting for us to offer our heavy, exhausting loads to him.
Praise be to the LORD, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens. –PSALMS 68:19, NIV
God, my Burden-Bearer,
take the load from me.
I’m too weary trying to do it all myself,
attempting to make everything come out perfect,
and I’m tired of failing in my attempts.
Take my burdens and fill me with your peace and joy. Amen.
Cecil Murphey has written more than one hundred books on a variety of topics with an emphasis on Spiritual Growth, Christian Living, Caregiving, and Heaven. He enjoys preaching in churches and speaking and teaching at conferences around the world. To book Cec for your next event, please contact Twila Belk at 563-332-1622.
The prodigal son didn’t end up among the pigs the day he left his father’s house; he went through a gradual process of decline (see Luke 15:11-15). So it is with us. If the enemy presented the end with the first temptation, it would be easy to resist! But usually the departure from grace is so subtle that even leaders take the bait.
The warning signs are visible long before we fully embrace sin. One of the first is that we allow other people or things to take the place in our hearts that belongs only to God.
Preferring any earthly thing over God is a clear sign that our hearts have wandered. Even the spiritually mature are in danger of allowing what is visible to usurp the place of the eternal, invisible God.
The result is that we become lukewarm in our pursuit of God. Complacency sets in. We compare ourselves to the standard of others rather than to the standard of the Word and justify what we know is compromise.
We begin to live “a form of godliness,” being outwardly religious but having no power in our lives (2 Tim. 3:5, KJV). Self then takes the throne (see vv. 2-4). We are no longer able to express the pure love God desires and are often judgmental and critical of others. Ultimately, like the prodigal son squandering his inheritance, we end up on the path to sin and spiritual death.
If your heart has wandered, recognizing your condition and crying out for God’s help is the first step back into His empowering grace. Even your failure can be a stepping stone to a higher place spiritually if you come to see that your flesh can’t be trusted. Understanding your own weakness is a key to releasing God’s power on your behalf.
The next step is to get right with God and others. Even if you have been wronged, you must forgive. This may seem difficult, but it is essential to maintaining communication with God—and it is worth the price. As one saint wrote: “When the soul seeks nothing in the universe but the smile of God and fears nothing but offending Him, it will gladly consent to any price to get right with Him.”
Third, look to God and His Word as your standard rather than to those around you. Jesus said, “Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect” (Matt. 5:48). This is an impossible standard for us to attain on our own, but with God we can do all things (see Phil. 4:13).
Finally, learn to walk in the Spirit, keeping your mind on God and His kingdom by praying continually. In this manner the Holy Spirit will become a filter for your thoughts. Daily pray Psalm 139:23-24, “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting” (NIV). God will be faithful to answer this prayer and to keep your heart stayed on Him.
Pray according to Psalm 139 this week and ask the Lord to search your heart and reveal anything that is not pleasing to Him. Ask Him to lead you away from evil and into His perfect way. As wickedness is a focus this month, pray protection over our children, schools, teachers, administrators and communities. Continue to pray for our pastors and spiritual leaders as they seek God and usher in His Spirit for a great revival and harvest of souls. Pray that God would direct our president and congress to make wise decisions regarding Israel, our nation and the world. Ps. 139:23-24; John 17
The word “terror” is akin to “terrible” from a Latin term meaning “great fear.” Every day the headlines speak of “terror threats,” “terror plots” and “terror attacks.” From the surveillance of our communication to the checkpoints at our airports, our world has become a different place because of terror.
The heroes of the Bible faced great fear too. Job said, “Terrors overwhelm me” (Job 30:15, NIV). David said, “My heart is severely pained within me, and the terrors of death have fallen upon me” (Psalm 55:4). Jeremiah spoke of “the terrors” that surrounded him (Lamentations 2:22).
Psalm 91 tells us what to do in such times, whether the fear is public panic or personal anxiety: “He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty …. You shall not be afraid of the terror by night.”
We all experience some heart-pounding moments in life, but the Most High is always there to afford us peace and protection. God’s children have a safe and secure refuge under the shadow of the Almighty.
Destructive anxiety subtracts God from the future, faces uncertainties with no faith, and tallies up the challenges of the day without entering God into the equation. Max Lucado, in Fear Not Promise Book
If a new “toy” caught your eye — boat, car, a recreational vehicle of some sort — but the cost was beyond your reach, how would you respond to this offer from the salesman: “I can work out a way for you to make the purchase, with only one stipulation: You and your family will become my slaves for the duration of the six-year loan. It won’t be that bad. It just means you’ll have to get my permission before you spend any money — even a penny — for the next six years.”
What would you do? Without thinking, we enslave ourselves every time we borrow money to buy something we actually can’t afford — if we believe Proverbs 22:7 (NIV), that is: “the borrower is slave to the lender.” We wouldn’t think of letting someone enslave our family, but Proverbs 25:28 suggests how it happens: “Whoever has no rule over his own spirit is like a city broken down, without walls.” Lack of self-control in any area invites others to enslave us. Without self-control, we buy what we can’t afford. With the resulting debt, we enslave ourselves to the lender.
Ask God today for the protection of self-control when it comes to spending, and for the resulting freedom to be no one’s servant except His.
The alternative to discipline is disaster.
The great Christian author C.S. Lewis once said, “There is no neutral ground in the universe: every square inch, every split second is claimed by God and counterclaimed by Satan.” In other words, fighting spiritually is vital because of how invaluable God’s promises are—and even the devil knows it.
In 1 Samuel 30 the Bible outlines an amazing battle plan for regaining those things that have been snatched away by the enemy of our souls. After the Amalekites kidnapped the women and children and raided Ziklag—the place where David and the families of his 600 men were living—he prayed, “Shall I pursue this raiding party?” (v. 8, NIV). Here’s a paraphrase of God’s answer: “Go and seize your stolen promises!” This riveting account of David’s bravery in successfully recapturing the kidnapped families and their stolen property from the Amalekites did not come about by sheer military force. David used a threefold strategy.
First, he engaged his feelings. He grieved the loss of his family and property. He even had to work through his emotions regarding the threats his own men made to stone him because their families and property were stolen (v. 6). These wounded warriors thought that killing David would ease their pain. Thankfully David went to God in prayer to find the answer to his emotionally traumatic dilemma.
Second, David engaged his faith. When David prayed, “Shall I pursue this raiding party?” he was calling on God’s wisdom to determine whether he should go after his family and property through military pursuit. David believed that God was the captain of the army—a warring God—who would answer in a way that resulted in victory.
Third, David engaged in a fight. God’s response to David’s prayer came in the form of words. Yet those words were infused with power that fired David up for the battle. His mind was focused, knowing that God was on His side. And David was on God’s side too. This battle was not only centered on revenge, but it was also fueled with marching orders directly from God. David was doing the Lord’s work. Any time you pursue God’s promises, you are doing His work. All heaven stands behind your spiritual effort to regain your stolen promises—the gifts God has given you.
Very much like natural fighting, spiritual warfare demands training and strategy. Even understanding psychological warfare is crucial in gaining the upper hand against your adversary. Similarly a solid understanding of biblical principles is essential to engage successfully in spiritual warfare.
Regardless of your age, gender, ethnicity or national origin, the law of gravity dictates that you will come crashing to the ground at the rate of 32.2 feet per second if you jump off the roof of a building. This law is both constant and nonnegotiable, in the same way there are laws associated with prayer that are constant and nonnegotiable.
The laws of prayer can be learned. And once you have mastered them, you will invariably begin to grow in the power of prayer. You will also find yourself coming alongside discouraged believers to help them discover the reasons their prayers haven’t been answered. You will be able to assist them in picking up their helmets, wiping the discouragement from their minds, and rejoining the ranks of the kneeling warriors.
A deficiency and vitality in your prayer life could mean that you’ve become discouraged. Discouraged believers often retreat to a life of spiritual apathy, but God wants us to make requests because Hedelights in answering us. We ought to persistently pursue Him for all His promises because this pleases Him. God gets no glory from unanswered prayers.
It’s important to remember God doesn’t say anything He doesn’t mean. He is the epitome of integrity and credibility. His Word is His bond. He honors every aspect of His Word. It is absolutely infallible. God’s Word is pregnant with power and every other vital ingredient needed to deliver on His promises. Our role is to trust Him when we pray.
In Luke 18:1Jesus taught His 12 recruits “that they should always pray and not give up.” His counsel is followed by a parable of a persistent widow who illustrates the value of a prayer-filled lifestyle. The parable of the persistent widow is a lesson in how we should pray and never give up. She emulates what it means to have faith in God in the face of human opposition and a blatant disregard for justice.
Isn’t this the perspective our commander in chief, Jesus, taught us to have? Jesus said to His disciples, “They should always pray and not give up” (Luke 18:1). This command to never give up embodies the attitude and will a kneeling warrior must possess before he bends his knees in prayer. Prayer starts in your feelings and thoughts about God, His power, His willingness to act, and your willingness to believe that His promises are absolutely attainable through prayer.
Adapted from The Kneeling Warrior by David D. Ireland, Ph.D., copyright 2013, published by Charisma House. Success in life requires spiritual militancy. This book offers a courageous how-to guide to reclaim God’s promises over your life and win the battle against Satan’s attacks on your knees. To order your copy click here.
PRAYER POWER FOR THE WEEK OF 09/30/13
This week thank the Lord that He delights in answering your prayers. Ask Him to help you learn the laws of prayer and develop perseverance and mature faith. Pray that a spirit of repentance and revival would engulf our churches and spread throughout the nation. Pray for more laborers into God’s harvest fields. Lift up our leaders and pray that they would seek God’s guidance in all their decisions affecting our nation and the world. Lift up those victimized by the terror in Kenya, Syria, Libya, Afghanistan, and our own Navy Yard. Continue to pray for Israel and the persecuted church. Luke 18:1; 1 Thes. 5:17.
The Bible says in 2 Peter 1:3 that as we grow in our knowledge of God, through his divine power he gives us everything we need for life and godliness. Jesus relied on the Word of God alone to overcome obstacles, including the devil. God’s Word is alive and powerful (Hebrews 4:12), useful for correcting us when we are wrong and teaching us what is right (2 Timothy 3:16). So, it makes sense for us to carry God’s Word in our hearts through memorization, to be ready to face any problem, every difficulty, and whatsoever challenge that life can send our way.
Faith Building Bible Verses
Presented here are a number of problems, difficulties and challenges that we face in life, along with corresponding answers from God’s Word:
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
Matthew 5:4 (NIV)
And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:19 (NKJV)
No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:39 (NIV)
I will turn their mourning into joy and will comfort them and give them joy for their sorrow.
Jeremiah 31:13 (NASB)
No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.
See how very much our Father loves us, for he calls us his children, and that is what we are!
1 John 3:1 (NLT)
My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.
2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV)
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.
Matthew 11:28-30 (NIV)
Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.