As Prince Oluwadare Adesina begins frantic moves to return to his throne as Deji of Akure, the family of his battered late wife has appealed to the state government to consider Adesina’s appeal for reinstatement.
Bolanle’s family said their show of solidarity to the deposed Oba was because the two families have reconciled their differences.
Last week, Prince Adesina wrote a letter to Governor Olusegun Mimiko and the kingmakers pleading to be re-installed as the deji of Akure following the death of the reigning king who died early this month.
Prince Adesina was removed from his stool after he battered his wife, Bolanle, in a show of shame that many believe desecrated the stool of Deji of Akure.
Unfortunately, the battered wife died shortly after the incident while the installed deji died early December after reigning for about 3 years.
In a show of solidarity to Prince Adesina, the family of his battered wife said in a statement signed by the Head of their family, Chief Akinola Fadeyi and obtained by African Examiner that both family have reconciled their differences even as they urged the kingmakers and the governor to reinstate their in-law.
“We are more touched by the gestures of forgiveness, godliness and love extended to our daughter even in her death and the dignity with which her memory has been treated by her husband.” The family stated
They also disclosed that their family has considered all the issues that ensued before, during and after the deposition and banishment Oba Oluwadare Adesina, and thus urged Governor Olusegun Mimiko and the good people of Akure to please consider the appeal of their in-law.”
“It is our belief that reinstating our in-law to his position as the Deji of Akure will be a rare honour done to our family and the memory of our late daughter.” They concluded.
Last year, we managed to get all our kids and grandkids together in the same location, dressed just right for the perfect portrait. But you know how kids are …
Most of our grandkids are toddlers and preschoolers, so if I said it was chaos, that might be putting it mildly. What I remember was kids melting down, running off in the wrong direction, or just about falling asleep. Then, a diaper change and a mess on a sweater.
I mean, is it even worth the hassle for a photo?
Those thoughts did go through my mind that day. And I might be overstating it a bit, but for a while it was not fun. And as a granddad, I wasn’t even involved in most of it.
But when I saw the photo, I never would have known there were all those challenges. Everyone looked great! And 10 or 20 years from now when I look at that photo, I’m sure I won’t even remember what that day was like. I’ll just be thinking about my amazing grandkids and how they’ve grown and changed, and I’ll be wondering where those precious years went.
If your family is anything like mine, there are a lot of holiday events and activities like that. You anticipate the “perfect” meal or evening or outing, but things go wrong. The kids argue and fight. Or there’s a blizzard. Or you can’t get in to see the Christmas play. One thing builds on the last, and pretty soon you wonder if it’s even worth it.
Well, I’m here to tell you, it is.
In many ways, I think our kids’ memories are like that photo. What they remember in the years ahead is going to be better than what you may feel at the time as the dad. It might be hard for you to get past today’s challenges, but I urge you to “see the bigger picture” … so to speak.
So expect a little chaos. But also expect a great family time this Christmas. Invest yourself 100 percent in connecting with family members and bringing home genuine joy for them.
When things go wrong—and they will—you don’t have to worry so much or get stressed out. Just smile, keep rolling with it, and look forward to the next thing on your schedule.
When my kids were younger, they thought there wasn’t anything I couldn’t do and that I never made mistakes. Not because it was true, but because I told them so.
Eventually they realized it wasn’t true and it was all a joke. They learned I did have limitations and I did make mistakes.
Some mistakes we make as dads are easy to let our kids see. But there are other mistakes you and I probably wish they never knew about. But I’ve come to learn that our kids need to see our mistakes, and not just the little ones with little consequences. They should also see the big mistakes with big consequences.
When we let our kids see our mistakes, it shows them mistakes can have good results in the end. It gives them opportunities to learn from our mistakes, which may prevent them from making the same mistakes in the future. If you want to give your kids these opportunities, then here are seven mistakes you should let them see you make:
1. Mistakes in your finances. Maybe you have bounced a check, have paid a bill late or have mismanaged money that prevented you from taking care of a financial obligation or opportunity. Use this opportunity to teach your kids about financial responsibility.
2. Mistakes in your marriage. Your kids may see you and your wife not on the best terms in a disagreement. Don’t let them see you in a heated argument, but don’t hide the fact that you disagree either. Let them see it based on their level of maturity and understanding. And let them see the resolution.
3. Mistakes in your word. Have you ever said you’d do something and didn’t do it? Then had negative consequences? Allow your kids to see that so they know the importance of keeping your word.
4. Mistakes in your work. Have you made a mistake that made you and your company look bad? Or have you been fired from a job? As hard as it may be to tell your wife, letting your kids know why you are home during the day is even tougher. But you should let them see it. It’ll help them see not only the consequences, but also the hard work it takes to recover.
5. Mistakes in your relationship with them. When you make mistakes with your kids when they are young, not too much will be made of it. But when your kids get older, your mistakes will not be glanced over. They’ll be the first to tell you. These are great opportunities to show humility by apologizing.
6. Mistakes in your punctuality. This is our family’s Achilles’ heel. Our kids can learn a lot of what not to do in this area. Maybe you aren’t as bad, but on occasion you do run late. Let them see it so they can appreciate when a person is timely.
7. Mistakes in your health. Perhaps you’ve not taken care of your body like you desire. Let your kids see the mistakes. This just might encourage you to do better with your eating, exercise and even sleep. There would be nothing greater than them seeing you complete a personal makeover to improve your health and quality of living in front of their eyes.
I’m a mom of three boys and three girls. It’s easy to show my girls that I love them. I sit and ask them questions. I listen to them talk and talk and talk. I buy them pink nail polish with sparkles. I “get” girls.
It was harder to figure out my boys. When I asked them questions about their day, I could feel their frustration. Once, when I was asking my young adult son about his first day of college, my husband turned to me and said, “Why are you grilling him?”
What? I was just trying to show I was interested. My daughter would have loved to share every detail!
If you’re a mom of older sons, it can sometimes be hard to show your love. Here are 15 ideas to do just that.
15 Ways to Show Your Teen Son Your Love
1. Go on a long drive and just sit side by side. Don’t ask any questions; just enjoy the view and wait for him to talk. (It will feel awkward, but I guarantee your son will love the side-by-side time.)
2. Ask your son about his most recent video game … and then just listen.
3. Make your son’s favorite dinner and let him know you were thinking of him.
4. Tell your son how proud you are of a good character trait you see in him.
5. Visit him at his work. Don’t make it a big deal, but just smile and wave.
6. Invite him to lunch, your treat, at his favorite restaurant.
7. When you’re at the grocery store, text your son and ask if there’s anything he needs.
8. Offer to play his favorite board game with him … even if you know there’s no chance of your winning, even if you try.
9. Do his laundry without making a big deal about it.
10. Stop what you’re doing and really listen the next time he wants to tell you something.
11. Let your son overhear you talking to someone else and praising one of his accomplishments.
12. Make snacks for your son and his friends when they’re hanging out at your house.
13. Buy a book he’s interested in and leave it on his bed with a note.
14. Show up the next time he invites you to do something with him.
15. Take his problems seriously, even when they don’t seem like a big deal to you.
These seem like simple things, but you know you’re making a difference when you see your son’s smile!
Now, how about you? What are ways you show your teen son that you love him?.
Tricia Goyerhas written more than 35 books, including both novels that delight and entertain readers and nonfiction titles that offer encouragement and hope. She has also published more than 500 articles in national publications such as Guideposts, Thriving Family, Proverbs 31, and HomeLife Magazine.
You finally get to use that vacation time and have some time away from work to spend over the holidays. What will you do?
Before you go planning a thousand things and overwhelming yourself, make sure some quality, fun and relaxing family time is included. You should make the most of your family time during this time. Here’s how.
1. Be flexible. You may work from a rigid schedule at work, but now is not the time for that. Throw that out the window. During this time, be flexible and even spontaneous. Be prepared to go with the (family) flow.
2. Be intentional. No matter what you do, try to include your family as much as possible. They are going to be so excited and looking forward to a lot of uninterrupted time with you. But if you are not engaged with them, they’ll be very disappointed. Even without planning everything, you can be intentional and focused on making family time a priority.
3. Be relaxed. Your main goal is to love on your family well. And let them love on you too. So take it easy, relax and don’t pressure yourself to do a whole lot.
4. Be creative. If you live where it snows, you have some great opportunities for winter fun. You can go sledding, ice skating or even skiing. Date nights can get more creative in the winter. Think outside the box and do some fun, creative things with your family.
5. Be fun. Above all else, have fun and be fun for your family. Making this time full of family and fun will have you ready to go back to work and take on the world when your time off ends. Just be sure not to overschedule your family.
What will you do to make the most of your time off over the holidays?
So I thought I’d go to the well again and share these 10 more things wives want to hear from their husbands.
1. “I’m your biggest fan.” Everyone wants someone to celebrate their wins and encourage them in their struggles. Be sure your wife knows that you will always be there to cheer her on.
2. “I’m thankful for the little things you do.” If your wife makes you coffee every morning, appreciate this small act of kindness with thankfulness. Don’t fail to notice the small ways she shows her love to you each day.
3. “Let’s take a walk together.” Show your wife that she’s important by prioritizing your day to set aside time to be with her.
4. “I miss you when we’re apart.” Remind your wife that she is constantly on your mind whether you are at work, in the car or anywhere else. Never take her presence for granted.
5. “I’m here for you.” You won’t always understand everything that your wife is going through. But youcan listen and sympathize with her by letting her cry on your shoulder when life gets tough.
6. “You’ll always have me by your side.” No matter what life throws at you— parenting challenges, hard financial decisions or family tragedies—let your wife know that you’re walking with her and will carry her if you need to.
7. “I want to be the man you deserve.” Realize that there will be times when you fail your wife. When you do, apologize, learn from those mistakes, and let her know that you want to be a better husband.
8.“You love others so well.” Be sure she knows that you see the way she interacts with her friends and family. Then be a voice of encouragement to her in these relationships.
9. “I love you more every day.” Never let your wife forget that she is lovely, beautiful and breathtaking. Show her that you will continue to romance her for the rest of your life.
10. “How can I serve you today?” Your wife needs to know that you want to support and serve her in everything she does. Just asking this question will convey to her how much you care.
What are some other things wives want to hear from their husbands? Please share with me below.