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Posts tagged ‘Hushai’

Let the Pain Go.

girlinthought-prayEvery woman has endured one kind of heartbreak or another. We’ve all had the unfortunate experience of betrayal, and we’ve grieved over the difficulty of getting past it.

As Christian women, how do we process the hurts we go through? And where is our God in the midst of them?

In the book of 2 Samuel, King David’s daughter Tamar suffered an unspeakable violation at the hands of her brother Amnon, who afterward, rejected her and cast her away.

The Scripture says: “Tamar put ashes on her head and tore the ornamented robe she was wearing.

She put her hand on her head and went away, weeping aloud as she went” (2 Sam. 13:19, NIV).

Imagine how this tragic scene might have played out.

Tamar’s weeping came from the depths of her soul and ran through the canyons of her entire being.

Clutching her torn garments to her breast as if to reserve the last shreds of her dignity, she made her way across the courtyard.

The ashes with which she had covered herself were a silent witness to the stain of violation no tears could wash away. Nothing could. If she took a thousand baths, she would still feel unclean (see 2 Sam. 13:19).

Tamar was empty, spent, a prisoner of her own despair. She could still feel her half-brother Amnon’s eyes glaring at her with intense hatred. Still hear his words ringing in her ears, “‘Get this woman out of here and bolt the door behind her'” (2 Sam. 13:17). “This woman! This woman!” She had been deceived and raped, but being reduced to just another woman in her half-brother’s eyes was more than she could bear.

The sounds of her suffering carried on the wind, drawing the attention of her brother Absalom. He came bounding from his house to see what had so devastated her.

Absalom said to her: “‘Has that Amnon, your brother, been with you? Be quiet now, my sister; he is your brother. Don’t take this thing to heart.’

And Tamar lived in her brother Absalom’s house, a desolate woman” (2 Sam. 13:20).

She felt so ashamed as she shared her plight with him. Would he blame her for this? Would he say that she had done something to entice Amnon? The thought of his name caused her to shiver in repulsion.

She thought Amnon liked her. She had caught his gaze many times when he did not avert his eyes quickly enough to conceal his longing.

It was inconceivable that he had such evil intentions toward her.

Though they did not share the same mother, the blood of their father, David, joined them together in a familial bond that could not be ignored.

Now it was too late.

Amnon’s “love” had changed to hatred.

As a matter of fact, he hated Tamar more now than he had ever loved her.

Now he cast her aside carelessly, as if he had never known her at all.

Now where could she turn? Who would come to her defense? No one had been present to hear her cries, to witness this travesty.

Absalom could only clumsily comfort her by suggesting that she should not take this matter to heart.

Though Absalom did not accuse her, his attempts to calm her did not repair her shredded soul.

How could she not take it to heart? The inner core of her being had been brutally invaded. Her very soul had been ravaged and left for dead.

Yes, a part of Tamar had died that day.

It did not come back to life when, after several years, Absalom avenged her by killing Amnon.

His death could not console her devastated heart.

And as she wandered the halls of Absalom’s house, day in and day out she resigned herself to believing that only the night and her dreams would give her relief from the desolation that had taken up residence within her.


Men are mandated by God to treat the women in their lives with respect and honor. They are called to protect and cover us.

However, the heart of fallen man does not always heed the call of the Spirit.

When flesh rules, men and women alike fall prey to selfishness, impulsiveness, impatience, lust, covetousness, manipulation, strife and every evil work.

The cycle of violation that follows sinks the soul into deeper and deeper depravity, wreaking more and more destruction on others not aware of the pain of the offender.

Whether it is an abusive mother that builds fury in the heart of a young man, a father with a perverted sense of affection toward his young daughter, or some other past relationship or painful incident, no one knows the motivation of one who violates and damages another person’s heart, body or spirit.

There is no such thing as a small or insignificant violation or offense.

One cannot compare violations to rationalize which will cause less or greater damage.

The bottom line is the pain is a large reality to the person who has been victimized.

To try to explain away the pain or attempt to put it in any type of context is to demean the one who is already struggling to make sense of the occurrence.

Though the pain is the same, the circumstances can be different. One can be raped emotionally as well as physically.

A person’s heart can be violated by the misinterpreted motives or deceptive actions of another.

The wound can sometimes be deeper than if a physical act had been involved.

Ruptured trust can give birth to fears that can grow and overwhelm its victim.

In their mind, a thousand “whys” remain unanswered.

There may never be a visible rhyme or reason behind actions of abuse, rape, betrayal, emotional battery or adultery.

Emotional devastation can go deeper than physical abuse, simply because it can be more difficult to locate the source of suffering in order to deal with it.

Neither party walks away unscathed by these painful encounters.

Regardless of what the eyes see, both people pay; both lose pieces of themselves.

Those who inflict pain on others are usually weaker than those they violate and have no knowledge of how to extract themselves from the prison of anger and pain they find themselves bound in.

The antagonist who never suffers the consequences of their actions comes to believe that there are none.

Which in the end only serves to increase their pain because their abusive behavior is a cry for help.

However this knowledge is usually lost on the victim who is trying to recover from her assault.

Both the perpetrator and the victim become people with the potential to hurt others over and over again until the root of their anger is addressed and done away with.

Such is the cycle of unresolved pain. Yet the power of God’s healing is always available.


In order to embrace the One who comes with healing arms to comfort us, we must first extricate ourselves from the offense.

We will never forget the experience, but we must choose to understand (this does not mean justify) and forgive the one who has wronged us.

If we allow ourselves to become prisoners of unforgiveness and bitterness, we are sentenced to live a life of seclusion, self-loathing and hopelessness.

How do you begin to forgive someone who has hurt you? Do you begin sifting through your pain to find the one grain of rationale that could excuse the other person’s behavior?.

Sometimes there is none. What does one do then?

We have all heard that hurt people hurt other people, and this is a fact that is resoundingly true.

It must also be noted that if someone truly loves you, they would never seek to hurt you on purpose.

Yet, loved ones do offend, they do jolt us emotionally, shock us, dismay us and sometimes even violate us through shattering the things that are nearest and dearest to our hearts.

Your body, your mind and even your self-esteem can be dealt a blow from which you feel you will never recover, but recovery is just a choice away.

The gift of free will that God gave to us is more powerful than we know.

Many of us have not exercised the greatest reaches of its capacity to bounce back, overcome and even forgive.

Forgive even when you are right and the other person is wrong.

The truth is that forgiveness has nothing to do with who is right or wrong.

Forgiveness is a free agent.

It is not attached to reason or agreement or even understanding.

It is however attached to wholeness and to your healing and liberation.

Unforgiveness is a prison.

It slams the door on new beginnings and entrenches you in your present pain.

It chains the heart and stops it from beating.

It suffocates joy and paralyzes your ability to move on. Unforgiveness is the cancer of the soul.

It slowly eats away the marrow of your existence and impairs your judgment, your personality and your ability to love again.

The desire to want to hurt the person who hurt you can be overwhelming.

We want them to feel the torture we think they deserve.

“How can he act as though nothing ever happened?” We ask.

“It’s not fair! Where is God in all this? Is there no justice!”

Yes, there is justice.

But justice comes only after we have released our offender into the hands of the One who is solely in the position to judge.


Only God knows both sides of the story.

The fears, the past wounds, the generational conditioning, the weaknesses, the insufficiencies of character and integrity.

He knows the things that we failed to notice—the things that should have warned us to guard our hearts.

Only God knows the hidden motives and unspoken regrets of the one who hurt you—their sickness, their brokenness.

The assumptions we make usually do more damage than the truth:

“He doesn’t even notice how much he hurt me!”

“How could he be so cold?”

“How could they just ignore my cries for help and walk away?”

“Doesn’t anyone see my pain?”

Our imaginations can be unmerciful.

Trust me, it’s never what you think.

Your guesses will always be more cruel than the reality of what really transpired, adding unnecessary injury to insult.

You must let it go.

You need to forgive, not for the sake of the one who hurt or violated you—for your own.

It’s time to redirect your focus and move on.

And you won’t be able to do that if you continue to nurse and rehearse your anger, the many wrongs done against you, all the reasons why.

If you can’t forgive for your own sake, forgive for God’s sake.

He needs your hands open in order to bless you. Cooperate.

The one who wronged you does not deserve so much of your time, energy or attention.

Your fixation is standing in the gap between that person and God, shielding him from conviction.

Move out of the way.

Free him to receive the proper correction from God.

Free yourself to receive your healing.

Forgive because you need to be forgiven.

How can you expect what you are unable to give yourself! Forgive my dear sister, because you are not alone.

We have all been prisoners of our unspoken pain and suffering. So come and join us on the other side.

Choose to forgive because it is what God requires of you, and it is what is best.

He will help you to forgive from your heart and not just from your head.

Ask Him for strength to release your offender, for to release him (or her) is to release yourself.

Trust God to free you from your anger and your pain and from all the questions that continually assault your mind.

Let Him speak words of comfort to you and assure you that He has taken heed to the things that have transpired.

Although you may never forget what has happened, He will enable you to forgive even as He has forgiven you.

By Michelle McKinney Hammond.

Let All We Do Bring Honour, Respect And Glory To The Lord.

Let all we do bring honour, respect and glory to the Lord and God will wonderfully change your situation In Jesus Name.

You cannot claim your victory if you continue to live a life against God’s word.

Today’s pleasure might be tomorrow destruction.

Romans 13; 1-3 “let every soul be subject unto the higher authority. For there is no power but of God, the powers that be are ordained of God. Whosoever therefore resisteth the power resisteth the ordinance of God, and they that resist shall receive to themselves damnation. For rulers are not a terror to good works, but to the evil. Wilt thou then not be afraid of the power? Do that which is good and thou shalt have a praise of the same”.

You cannot receive God’s favour and bless when you refuse to obey authority

Hebrew 11; 6He who comes to God must believe that he is, that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.

For you to be rewarded and blessed by God, you must believe that He alone has the key to your success.

Sometimes we attend burial ceremony and read the comments written about the dead.

Our life is always summarised in a single sentence.

If l may ask you, what will your life sentence be?

Your life presently is the greatest legacy. It is only one life, live it well.

For you to have a meaningful life, always be kind and compassionate to other people,  forgiving each other – Eph 4;32

Do not pay evil with evil.

I know you have had so many bad and bitter experiences from friends and relations but your life will be more appreciated if you love and appreciate other people.

There are men and women God prepared to assist you add value to your life.

God has created and position people to lift you up, be at peace with people around you. Hebrew 13; 13 (read your bible)

In Exodus 2; 5-10– without Pharaoh’s daughter, Moses would never have been able to enter Pharaoh’s Palace

In 2 Sam 15; 32- 37– without Hushai, Ahithophel’s counsel against David would have stood

In Mark 2; 3-5– without the four friends effort, the paralysed man would never have been able to get to Jesus Christ.

For you to have a positive life, you may need destiny helper to perform your assignment.

Ask God to reveal your destiny helpers.

Do not allow your foundation to destroy your life.

Remember, Abraham answered God and his destiny changed.

1 Cor 3;11For  other foundation can no man lay than that is laid which is Jesus Christ– The blood of Jesus Christ is the foundation for every good life.

Today is ideal for you to change your life style. It is not yet late.

Luke 8;22-“Now it came to pass on a certain day that he went into a ship with his disciples, and he said unto them, let us go over unto the other side of the lake. And they launched forth.

Today is that certain day, launch out to a good side of life and be remembered and rewarded by the living God.

God bless.

By Pastor Chinedu Obi.


A Collection of Bible Verses Celebrating the Gift of Friendship.

“When we consider the blessings of God—the gifts that add beauty and joy to our lives, that enable us to keep going through stretches of boredom and even sufferingfriendship is very near the top.”—Donald W. McCullough, Mastering Personal Growth 

Friendship Bible Verses

This collection of friendship Bible verses celebrates the blessings of God in the gift of true friendship.

True and Lasting Friendship Can Occur Suddenly
1 Samuel 18:1–3
After David had finished talking with Saul, he met Jonathan, the king’s son. There was an immediate bond between them, for Jonathan loved David. From that day on Saul kept David with him and wouldn’t let him return home. And Jonathan made a solemn pact with David, because he loved him as he loved himself. (NLT)

Godly Friends Give Good Advice
Proverbs 12:26
The godly give good advice to their friends; the wicked lead them astray. (NLT)

Gossip Separates Best Friends
Proverbs 16:28
A troublemaker plants seeds of strife; gossip separates the best of friends. (NLT)

Loyal Friends Love Through Difficult Times
Proverbs 17:17
A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need. (NLT)

Faithful Friends are a Rare Treasure
Proverbs 18:24
There are “friends” who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother. (NLT)

Reliable Friends are Hard to Find
Proverbs 20:6
Many will say they are loyal friends, but who can find one who is truly reliable? (NLT)

Purity and Integrity Gain the Friendship of Kings
Proverbs 22:11
Whoever loves a pure heart and gracious speech will have the king as a friend. (NLT)

The Wrong Friends Can Have a Negative Influence
Proverbs 22:24–25
Don’t befriend angry people or associate with hot-tempered people, or you will learn to be like them and endanger your soul. (NLT)

Sincere Friends Speak the Truth in Love, Even When it Hurts
Proverbs 27:5-6
An open rebuke is better than hidden love! Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy. (NLT)

Counsel from a Friend is Pleasing
Proverbs 27:9
The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense. (NLT)

Friends Shape and Sharpen One Another
Proverbs 27:17
As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend. (NLT)

True Friends Strengthen and Help Each Other
Ecclesiastes 4:9–12
Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken. (NLT)

Friendship is Marked by Sacrifice
John 15:13–15
There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you slaves, because a master doesn’t confide in his slaves. Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me. (NLT)

The Lord is a Friend to the Godly
Proverbs 3:32
Such wicked people are detestable to the LORD, but he offers his friendship to the godly. (NLT)

Believers Enjoy Friendship with God
Romans 5:10
For since our friendship with God was restored by the death of his Son while we were still his enemies, we will certainly be saved through the life of his Son. (NLT)

Friendship with the World Makes You an Enemy of God
James 4:4
You adulterers! Don’t you realize that friendship with the world makes you an enemy of God? I say it again: If you want to be a friend of the world, you make yourself an enemy of God. (NLT)

Examples of Good Friends in the Bible

David and Jonathan (1 Samuel 18:1-3, 20:17, 42; 2 Samuel 1:26)
David and Abiathar (1 Samuel 22:23)
David and Nahash (2 Samuel 10:2)
David and Hushai (2 Samuel 15:32–37)
Elijah and Elisha (2 Kings 2:2)
Job’s Friends (Job 2:11)
Ruth and Naomi (Ruth 1:16-17)
Paul’s Ministry Friends (Romans 16:3-5; 2 Corinthians 2:12-13; Philippians 2:25; Colossians 4:7, 14; 2 Timothy 1:2-4; 1 Philemon)
By Mary Fairchild.

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