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Posts tagged ‘People’

How to Correct Myths about Men.


 

Whitney Hopler

Editor’s Note: The following is a report on the practical applications of Julie Gorman’s new book What I Wish My Mother Had Told Me about Men (Authentic Publishers, 2013).

Do you wish you could enjoy closer relationships with the men in your life – such as your husband or boyfriend, father, son, brother, or coworkers – but keep stumbling into misunderstandings and mistakes that prevent you from moving closer to them?

If so, you may believe some common myths about men that can distort your relationships with them. Replacing those myths with biblical truths will set you free to experience the kind of relationships that God intends for you to enjoy with men. Here’s how to do so:

Correct the myth that “A man will validate my worth.” No matter how much attention or affection men may give you, it will never be enough to fulfill you. No matter how the men in your life may disappoint you, you can always count on God to love you completely and unconditionally. Don’t base your sense of worth on the unreliable opinions of fallen human beings. Instead, base your worth on the fact that God has made you one of His beloved children. Honestly ask yourself questions such as: “Is my happiness contingent upon a man?” “Do I care more about a man’s opinion of me than I do about God’s?” “Do I allow a man to define my worth, or do I listen to who God says I am?” and “Have I compromised my faith in order to pursue a man?” After you identify lies you’ve believed, ask the Holy Spirit to renew your mind and study verses in the Bible that relate to how God values you. Fully embrace who God says you are, and derive your confidence from that truth.

Correct the myth that “A man will rescue me.” Expecting a man to rescue you from your unmet needs is unrealistic, because no man has the power to do so. Rather than pursuing security and hope through men, pursue it by deepening your relationship with God, who alone has the power to meet your deepest needs. Ask yourself questions like: “Am I content with my life, or am I ruled with a consuming desire for a man to rescue me from my current situations, fears, financial troubles, or emotional needs?” “Is my security determined by God, or is it contingent on my relationships?” and “From where does my hope originate?” Rather than trying to convince or manipulate men to meet your needs, pray about your needs and trust God to meet each one according to what’s really best for you.

Correct the myth that “A man will never let me down.” Realize that men will inevitably disappoint you, because they’re fallen human beings. But if you look to God (who alone is perfect) to meet your needs, you won’t be disappointed. Ask yourself questions such as: “What expectations do I maintain?” “Are my expectations realistic?” and “What happens when men fail to meet my expectations?” Don’t pressure men with unrealistic expectations; give the men in your life forgiveness and grace. Build your life firmly in God’s love so that, when imperfect men let you down, you can find what you need in God’s perfect love for you.

Correct the myth that “Men only want one thing.” Although it may sometimes seem that men are primarily interested in the physical release that sex gives them, the truth is that they also want the intimate spiritual and emotional connection that comes with sex as God designed it. If you’re single, ask yourself if you’re using your sexuality to entice men to for selfish purposes. If you’re married, ask yourself if you’ve reduced sex with your husband to just a duty, or if you’re giving sex your full attention, so that it enhances the union between your soul and your husband’s soul as God intends it to do.

Correct the myth that “I can change him.” You can’t change another person; only God has the power to change someone else. So don’t waste time and energy trying to change the men in your life. Instead, pray for them, encourage them, and trust God to keep working in their lives for the best. Never compromise your own values to please a man; instead, live to please God and relinquish any relationships with men that are dishonoring to God.

Correct the myth that “I can control him.” Resist the temptation to try to control your husband or boyfriend, because doing so undermines the respect God wants you to have for him and damages your relationship. Ask yourself questions such as: “Do I try to control my man and influence him to do, say, and think what I want?” and “Do I trust God, or do I sometimes rely on my own devices to protect and shield my life?” Decide to give your hopes and dreams for your romantic relationship to God, and trust Him to influence your man in ways you never could yourself.

Correct the myth that “It’s all his fault.” When you encounter problems in your relationships with men, do you blame the men for those problems, or do you take responsibility for your own part in the difficulties you face? Ask yourself questions such as: “Do I spend more time concentrating on what men do wrong than what they do right?” Choose to love the men in your life as God loves you: unconditionally.

Correct the myth that “All men are perverts.” If men have sinned against you sexually in some way, ask God to help you see them from His perspective: as fallen people in need of mercy and forgiveness. Ask God to help you heal from damage caused by sexual sin, and to empower you to forgive men who have hurt you.

Correct the myth that “Men are the enemy.” Keep in mind that, even though men may make many mistakes, they also have redeeming qualities. Choose to evaluate the men in your life based on their best moments, rather than their worst.

Correct the myth that “A man will satisfy the longing of my soul.” If you elevate your relationships with men over your relationship with God, you’ll suffer heartache, because God alone has the power to satisfy your soul’s deepest longing. Ask yourself questions such as: “Who do I go to when I need affirmation, comfort, or direction?” and “Do I embrace the fact that God loves me passionately and unconditionally?” Devote yourself wholeheartedly to God as your first love, and enjoy cultivating deeper intimacy with Him every day.

Adapted from What I Wish my Mother Had Told Me about Men: 12 Secrets toward Greater Intimacy, copyright 2013 by Julie Gorman. Published by Authentic Publishers, a division of Authentic Media, Inc., Franklin, Tn., www.authenticpublishers.com.

Julie Gorman is the founder of For Your Inspiration, a faith-based organization committed to strengthening the pillars common to every woman’s life. She writes, produces, and hosts FYI’s weekly national broadcast, and is certified by Dr. John C. Maxwell as an executive coach, trainer, and speaker. Julie, who graduated Summa Cum Laude from Central Bible College, is a prolific blogger and writer, with articles appearing in Proverbs 31 Magazine, Max Lucado’s online community Faithful Feet, Evangel, Light and Life, and several other publications. She and her husband, Greg, and their three children make their home in southern Florida.

Whitney Hopler, who has served as a Crosswalk.com contributing writer for many years, is author of the Christian novel Dream Factory, which is set during Hollywood’s golden age. Visit her website at: whitneyhopler.naiwe.com.

Publication date: December 27, 2013

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Ted Cruz Hints He Might Vote for ‘Terrific’ Rick Perry in 2016.


Image: Ted Cruz Hints He Might Vote for 'Terrific' Rick Perry in 2016

By Lisa Barron

Sen. Ted Cruz says Texas Gov. Rick Perry is “terrific,” despite the Republican governor’s past swipes at the state’s junior senator for his involvement in the government shutdown, among other things.

Cruz told the Dallas Morning News in a recent interview that under Perry, the Lone Star State‘s economy has been “remarkable.” He even suggested he might vote for Perry in the GOP primary should the governor decide to repeat his 2012 bid for the White House in 2016.

“Rick Perry’s been a terrific governor,” he said, adding: “I can tell you this: as a voter, the person for whom I intend to vote in the 2016 Republican primary is whoever is standing up and leading, effectively fighting for free-market principles and the Constitution.”

Perry, who has not announced whether he will seek the presidency again, has insulted Cruz in recent months. During a trip to Israel and England in October, he called the government shutdown in October that was championed by his fellow Republican “political theater” and told the Washington Times that the senator’s name had not been mentioned overseas.

Cruz has also been mentioned as a possible 2016 GOP presidential candidate, but a November survey by Public Policy Polling found both good and bad news for the tea party favorite.

While he is by far the top choice of Texas Republicans to be the party’s presidential candidate in 2016, 50 percent of all Texans say Cruz has been bad for the state’s reputation, compared to 37 percent who think he’s been good for it.

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© 2013 Newsmax. All rights reserved.

GOP’s Heller Pushes Bill to Extend Jobless Benefits.


Image: GOP's Heller Pushes Bill to Extend Jobless Benefits

By Drew MacKenzie

Nevada Sen. Dean Heller has raised eyebrows among his Republican colleagues by putting his name to a bill to extend unemployment benefits to 1.3 million jobless Americans.

Co-sponsored by Democratic Sen. Jack Reed of Rhode Island, the legislation fails to offset the costs of the welfare with any proposed cuts to the federal budget — so breaking GOP pledges to keep entitlements and government spending down.

Editor’s Note: ObamaCare Is Here. Are You Prepared?

The legislation, which could be introduced in the Senate in early January, has been hailed by President Barack Obama and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, but is likely to upset many Republicans, especially conservatives, says Rhode Island’s Providence Journal.

Republicans have argued that they will vote against extending benefits unless other cuts are put forward to counter the cost of the unemployment benefits.

The object of the emergency bill is to give the government time to come up with a comprehensive plan to make changes to the program and find ways to pay for it.

The benefits available to workers unemployed for 26 weeks or more are set to expire on Saturday.

Democrats had hoped to include a one-year extension to the benefits, at a cost of $25 billion, to the two-year federal budget, which was negotiated by the Senate and House finance committee chairs, Democratic Sen. Patty Murray of Washington and Republican Rep. Paul Ryan of Wisconsin.

But the extension was omitted from the legislation, which was signed into law Thursday by President Barack Obama during his Christmas vacation in Hawaii.

Heller and Reed have a particular interest in the unemployment problem because their two states have the highest jobless rates in the country. Extensions to unemployment benefits are given to jobless workers in states with the worst unemployment rates, with Nevadans eligible for the maximum 73 weeks, says the Las Vegas Sun.

On Reed’s official website, Heller said, “Providing a safety net for those in need is one of the most important functions of the federal government. As Nevada’s unemployment rate continues to top the charts nationwide, many families and individuals back home do not know how they are going to meet their basic needs.

“I am pleased to join Senator Reed on this legislation, which aims to help people across the nation who have fallen on hard times.”

Reed said he had introduced the “emergency spending” measure so that the unemployed aren’t “cut off, thrown off the cliff starting literally this week.” He suggested that a year-long extension of jobless benefits could be paid for by closing tax loopholes and reducing offshore tax breaks.

The legislation has already received the support of leading Democrats. Senate Majority Leader Reid said he was “pleased and proud of my colleague Sen. Dean Heller” for introducing “a good bill, and it deserves a vote.”

And White House Senior Adviser Valerie Jarrett has declared that Obama’s administration “strongly support” the bill, adding, “We think it’s very important; we think they’ve made a very good case for it.” She also said the president would help “galvanize support for it.”

Editor’s Note: ObamaCare Is Here. Are You Prepared?

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© 2013 Newsmax. All rights reserved.

Senators Urge China to Lift Defense Zone Over Islands.


Image: Senators Urge China to Lift Defense Zone Over Islands

By Drew MacKenzie

A bipartisan group of senators is asking China to lift the air defense zone it created in November over three deserted islands that both Beijing and Japan claim as their own, going further than what the Obama Administration has requested.

Vice President Joe Biden expressed “deep concerns” to Chinese President Xi Jinping during a visit to Beijing in early December about the Air Defense Identification Zone. But he apparently did not ask China to lift it, even though the deserted islands in the East China Sea were actually purchased by Japan. China has requested that it be informed of all flights through the new zone, and the administration has recommended that U.S. commercial carriers comply with that request, The Hill is reporting.

“I don’t think anyone should be reporting to them,” said Sen. Marco Rubio, the highest ranking Republican on the Senate Foreign Relations Subcommittee on East Asian and Pacific Affairs.

“If the Chinese are willing to shoot down a civilian aircraft on an illegitimate claim, then they’re a criminal government,” the Florida senator told The Hill. “Airlines are free to do whatever they choose, but I don’t think our government should be telling them to do that because it sends confusing messages.”

When China laid claim to the Senkaku islands and declared the air defense zone, the U.S. immediately flew two B-52 bombers right through it. The U.S. has also sent more ships and has opened more outposts in the region. China is feeling threatened by the move.

While efforts have been made by both Chinese and U.S. officials to calm tensions, neither country has backed down.

Republican Sen. John McCain of Arizona said he thought it was a mistake that Biden didn’t make the issue central to his meeting with the Chinese leader.

Rubio, along with three Democratic and Republican committee leaders, sent a letter earlier in December to China’s ambassador to the U.S asking Beijing to back off.

“We urge your government not to implement this ADIZ as announced, and to refrain from taking similar provocative actions elsewhere in the region,” the group wrote. “There is nothing for China to gain by undermining regional stability and threatening the peace and prosperity that is the shared object of all Asia-Pacific nations.”

The White House has not taken an official position on the territorial dispute, but Chinese officials say the U.S. has long sided with Japan, citing the fact that the islands are mentioned in the 1960 Defense treaty with Japan.

“It seems absurd that [the U.S.] would commit itself to defend a few small islands it has no position about,” said one Chinese military official.

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© 2013 Newsmax. All rights reserved.

Paul Ryan: Pope ‘Triggering Exact Dialogue We Should Be Having’.


Image: Paul Ryan: Pope 'Triggering Exact Dialogue We Should Be Having'

By Drew MacKenzie

Pope Francis’ controversial economic views have startled Republicans who are now having to rethink their relationship with the Catholic churchaccording to Politico.

The pontiff has recently attacked “trickle-down economics, saying that the theory has never been confirmed by fact,” and “that it expresses a crude and naïve trust in the goodness of those wielding economic power.”

The pope also criticized “the idolatry of money” and slammed capitalism as a “new tyranny.”

Conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh has already called Time’s “Person of the Year” a closet Marxist and now Republicans in Washington are taking aim at the pope, who took over the office in March.

New York Rep. Peter King, who went to a Catholic school and graduated from the University of Notre Dame’s law school, told Politico that the pope’s economic statements are demeaning.

King said that Francis uses the phrase “trickle-down” as a “pejorative” term, “like some liberal speechwriter stuck it in.” He said, “I genuinely believe (that) supply-side economics does more to help people come out of poverty, move up in the world.”

But King added, “On the other hand, we shouldn’t be dwelling on wealth. The guidance I’d take from this is, when I support conservative economics, I should do it in a way that helps the most people.”

Arizona Sen. John McCain said that, although he was “impressed” with the pope’s modern day outlook on social issues and helping the poor, “his economic perspective I’m not particularly enamored with.”

The pope maintains that he wants to de-emphasize the church’s position on issues like abortion and gay marriage and instead concentrate on more important problems such as helping the poor and the underprivileged.

Wisconsin Rep. Paul Ryan, a Catholic who is considered a potential Republican presidential candidate in 2016, said that he did not believe that Francis was a Marxist. But he pointed out in an interview with the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel that the pontiff’s background is rooted in the Peronist movement in Argentina, where the state took a leading role in the economy.

“The guy is from Argentina, they haven’t had real capitalism in Argentina,” Ryan said. “They have crony capitalism in Argentina. They don’t have a true free enterprise system.”

He added, “What I love about the pope is he is triggering the exact kind of dialogue we ought to be having.”

The pope’s economic opinions have also annoyed former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, a tea party favorite, who said Francis had made “some statements that to me sound kind of liberal.” But she later went back on that statement, according to Politico.

The pope, however, is taking all the criticism in his stride, especially from Rush Limbaugh. “The Marxist ideology is wrong,” he said. “But I have met many Marxists in my life who are good people, so I don’t feel offended.”

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© 2013 Newsmax. All rights reserved.

4 Ways to Respond to the Teen Sexting Problem.


What would you say to the members of your church youth group about sexting?
What would you say to the members of your church youth group about sexting? (Ambro)

Think back when you were a junior high or high school student. What would’ve been the equivalent to sexting?

I’m guessing it would probably be flashing. The only difference between the two (besides the obvious) is that a quick flash would only be talked about after it happened. Sexting pics are forever; therefore, people have visuals to add to the conversation for years to come.

If you think sexting is about students just getting a quick fix of sexual gratification, you are mistaken. There is a lot more going on. Guardchild.com did a very detailed survey on sexting, and the results were interesting:

  • One in five teens has engaged in sexting—sending, receiving or forwarding sexually suggestive nude or nearly nude photos through text message. And over a third knows someone who has either sent or received messages like this.
  • 38 percent of teens confessed to someone sharing with them what was sent to them.
  • 34 percent of the girls that have participated in sexting say they did it to feel sexy.
  • 23 percent of girls and 24 percent of boys say they were pressured by a friend to send the inappropriate pictures.
  • Most participants say they engage in sexting because their boyfriend/girlfriend ask them to or to have fun.
  • 52 percent of girls said they did it as a present.
  • 29 percent of teens believe those exchanging sexually suggestive content are “expected” to hook up or date.

These statistics say a few things that we in youth ministry need to pay attention to:

  • These statistics change the face of the person who’s sexting. When you think of a flasher, you think of an old pervert who walks around in a trench coat all day. Well, when you think of sexting, you may think of an older, porn-exposed student who’s been a troublemaker for most of their life. These statistics suggest that’s not the case. These statistics normalizes the profile of a sexter to look a lot more like your everyday teen in junior high or high school who may or may have not viewed porn before.
  • These statistics suggest that sexting is becoming normalized within boyfriend/girlfriend relationships.
  • These statistics suggest that sexting is becoming more normal and culturally acceptable in the world of teens.
  • These statistics suggest that sexting is a gateway to getting into more sexual activity.
  • These statistics suggest that it’s impossible to shield your child from sexting.
  • These statistics suggest that there is a deceptive identity/power piece that sexting gives to girls and guys.

So, what should be our response?

Sexting is a complete lie embedded in the mindset that it’s innocent or that it’s not worse than having sex. Here are four ways I feel we should respond:

1. Prayer. We should be interceding for our students and for the students at our local schools. Prayer in our ministries needs to be proactive, not reactive. Keep your ministry connected to the power source—God.

2. Educate parents on trends and technology. About two out of every five teens say their parents have no idea what they are doing online. So we must take the initiative and help parents become more knowledgeable with trends and technology. Let’s be the support they don’t know they need.

3. Talk about it in youth group. I wrote a post on this (click here). Add sexting to the list because it’s becoming the norm. And right now, students don’t get a choice whether they are exposed to it or not.

4. Challenge your students. I think sometimes we may feel like a good talk is enough, but actually talk is only half the battle. You need to challenge your students to take action and stand against cultural norms that are slowly destroying their generation. Give them action steps that will give them confidence in the stance they take. Teach them how to move in righteous anger. Be creative in what you give them the opportunity to do. I would grab a few students and let them help you shape the challenge. I love getting students involved in stuff like this, because it gives them ownership.

What are some other ways we should respond to sexting?.

Source: CHARISMA NEWS.

Aaron Crumbey oversees pastoral care for the high school ministry at Saddleback Church. He cares deeply about sharing Christ with students and seeing them reach their full potential in Christ. He’s married with three children, loves family time, sports, movies and all things musical among some other things. He also runs http://www.yoacblog.com.

For the original article, visit morethandodgeball.com.

Obamacare Failures Show Procurement Reforms Still Needed.


Image: Obamacare Failures Show Procurement Reforms Still Needed

By Courtney Coren

The recent failures of HealthCare.gov have highlighted changes that need to be made in how the government executes technology contracts, which many say is outdated and counterproductive.

While President Barack Obama has promised changes, little movement has been made in that direction, The New York Times reported Sunday.

The Standish Group, an independent information technology firm, found that when it comes to large-scale technology contracts that have been made over the last 10 years only 4.6 percent were successful. A majority were “challenged” and 40 percent “failed,” according to a Standish study.

One of the major problems cited by Standish is that the government tends to negotiate single contracts for projects that private companies would break up into pieces. When it comes to smaller projects, the success rate is almost 55 percent.

The procurement process is cited as another major problem by experts, congressmen, technology executives and former government officials. Troubles with that process were on display almost immediately in the problematic rollout of the Obamacare website in October.

The current laws and rules in place are designed to prevent corruption, but they give government officials very little authority over which companies are hired, how projects are executed, and little power to end a failing contract.

According to the Times, companies with large legal teams familiar with the government contracting process also have the upper hand in winning contracts. Smaller firms, even though they are often on the cutting edge of technology innovation, simply don’t have the personnel or the know-how to scale the procurement process.

The White House Budget office says the Administration is working to reform the technology procurement process, although more changes are still needed.

But Democratic Rep. Gerald Connolly of Virginia noted in the Times piece that the budget office offered no support for a bipartisan bill introduced this year that would have put a single person in each agency in charge of technology projects, and make such projects and the money spent on them more transparent.

Connolly told the Times the budget office “takes the position, as it usually does, that we don’t need legislation to address these issues.”

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